Recently I wrote a blog post titled 3 Tips on Navigating Mother’s DAY as a Step-Mom with Infertility. I gave 3 quick tips on how manage emotions on Mother’s Day. Struggling with infertility is terrible no matter who you are, but when you’re a Step-Mom there is another layer of grief and heartache. Just when you start to recover from all those emotions of Mother’s Day BAM Father’s Day has arrived. Father’s Day can be just as emotional, so don’t ignore the tips I gave on Mother’s Day. In addition, here are 3 tips on navigating Father’s Day as a Step-Mom with infertility:
- Allow yourself time for GRIEF: Infertility is grief. It is loss. You are not able to get pregnant as easily as you had hoped. It may work out (as people say) or it may not. Today is a reminder that your husband is a father. It doesn’t depend on you if he will be a father. While you love him and want to celebrate him, it is also okay to feel all the feelings. It’s sad, heartbreaking, and it’s okay to feel sadness today. You love him because he is a good Dad and it’s only normal to feel sadness that you may not get to share those same experiences with him that his ex-wife did. My key advice for this point is to not stay in that grief. Acknowledge it, feel it and then move to point 2.
- Take time for YOU: Okay so I had to repeat a point I made on Mother’s Day. It’s so needed to take time for yourself. On Father’s Day, depending on your situation, it may be difficult to take time for you. I would suggest finding a reason to go get a coffee or whatever makes you happy. For me taking a drive to get a coffee, listen to music, and come back home is sometimes all I need to clear my head. And maybe a good cry! A few moments away from the house will help you and as Step-Mom’s we don’t always take time for ourselves. So take the time.
- Celebrate HIM: When we celebrate others and are intentional in doing so then we start to feel better. Be intentional on this day of celebrating your husband. He is the father of your Step-Kids. He likely feels some level of guilt that your dream of becoming a Mom are not happening yet. So focus in on him and if you can involve your Step-Kids in the celebration that is even better. Every situation is different but no matter what I think finding a way to celebrate your husband with his kids is the way to go. It can be beautiful, and sting slightly, all at the same time because you ache to see him with a child you and him share. This is perfectly normal to feel and sometimes seeing him in his Fatherly role makes you want that positive pregnancy test even more.
Step-Mom, I know the last tip is the hardest one to do and yet it is Father’s Day! I know you want to celebrate him but I also know how badly it hurts. For me when I was going through infertility I would have preferred to not celebreate Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. I disliked both holidays strongly and just wanted to move right on to the 4th of July! Go back and check out my infertility journey My JOURNEY To Becoming a Mom – Struggles of Infertility. My journey was not easy but I am lucky in that my IVF journey was a success. I hope these tips help you on this day and I hope you get the desire of your HEART.
Like. Comment. Share. If you have ideas for future blog posts comment below.
-Tracy @Mommytracerq (follow along on insta)
MommyTracerQ Fashion.Lifestyle.Mommyhood. 